When I ask you…

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen, all I asked,
was that you listen.
Not talk or do—just hear me.
Advice is cheap: a few cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself;
I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me
what I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,

                No matter how irrational,
                then I quit trying
                to convince you
                and get about the business
                of understanding what’s                            
                behind this irrational feeling.

                And when that’s clear,
                the answers are obvious
                and I don’t need advice.
                Irrational feelings make sense
                when we understand
                what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes, for some people,
Because God is mute, and doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work it out yourself.

So please listen and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn.
Then I will listen to you.